Nutcup

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Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 8:26am)

Nutcup

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9651
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Nutcup's page activity

Visits<b>talon327</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:58am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:46pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 2:09pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 7:56am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:50am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 3:24pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:38am<b>jmrr</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:09pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:31pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 10:38pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:57pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 2:23pm

Nutcup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nutcup's badges

Nutcup's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

by I need a new ballsack. / 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 12:38am / France / Animals

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

by facefuckedguy / 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople / 08/11/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Kids

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

by Stop_HammerTime / 08/04/2014 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:05am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous