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Noxialis's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML
by NotASize0 / 04/04/2013 at 11:12am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to… Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've… Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was…