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NothernNightmare

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NothernNightmare
  • Town/Country : Tartarus, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1766
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NothernNightmare : shhhh, can you hear that? that's the sound of me not caring.

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NothernNightmare's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43401) - you deserved it (3266)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (2758)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (5721)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (5930)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (5306)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (6437)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (5709)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (3891)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43979) - you deserved it (5788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (6412)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -



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