NotAWalnut

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Offline (the 09/22/2014 at 6:20pm)

NotAWalnut

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NotAWalnut : You don't want to know.

NotAWalnut's page activity

Visits<b>moimoimoi125</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:04am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:37am<b>lachataigne</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:06pm<b>kayse</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:58am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:57am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:54pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:40am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:13pm

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Why am I up so early?

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NotAWalnut's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous