NotAUser

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Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 4:47am)

NotAUser

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 September 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3307
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About NotAUser : I'm from Georgia. Born and raised on a farm. Listening to music is my favorite pastime second only to showing livestock. Favorite bands/singers: George Strait, Brantley Gilbert, Johnny Cash, Bruce Springsteen, Hank Williams Jr., Eric Church.... most country but I'm slowly being introduced to new music that I enjoy. If you want to know anything else about me or if you just want to talk feel free to message me. I love meeting new people

NotAUser's page activity

Visits<b>Bowtie</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:39am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Triceratops4Lif</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:24pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:24am<b>Mmlopa14</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:08pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:50pm<b>oufie20</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:55pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:50am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:55pm<b>NotDarkKnight</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:55am<b>lysx84</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:23am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:31pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:26am<b>Posthuman</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:25am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:06pm

Fucked!<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:44am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:15pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:13pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:09am<b>morondon000</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:03am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:29am<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:45am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:54am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:15am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:48pm

NotAUser's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of NotAUser's badges

NotAUser's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 11:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

by teentee401 / 07/07/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.