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Noah98's favorite FMLs
by Noah98 / 05/25/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML
by xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo / 05/21/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML
by soccerswim20 / 05/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cheap / 06/18/2014 at 9:42am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Money
by a very unlucky dude. / 06/18/2014 at 2:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
by NaCl / 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML
by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by heyadrian / 02/20/2014 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Health