Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NoOneLovesYou

Search for a member

NoOneLovesYou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About NoOneLovesYou : Just because someone's opinion is different doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong... but usually it is, let's be honest.

Take your political and religious views and shove them up your ass. Sorry if it's full from your ego already, time to make room.

You can pick on a person for anything except that which they cannot control. That means when you begin to spew retarded bullshit, don't whine when people call you out for it.

If you have your head royally shoved up your ass, I hope you get explosive diarrhea. It might teach you a lesson. Or not, knowing you.

NoOneLovesYou's last visitors

RavingHavenreneetlovesyourajputhawkeyepeirceDennisse_47blueknight1stcrackmore278Tommiixauggie16

NoOneLovesYou's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of NoOneLovesYou's badges

NoOneLovesYou's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (2477)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30759) - you deserved it (2438)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (4158)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59482) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

#16905617
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7099) - you deserved it (51294)

On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (33429)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58155) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (6747)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

#16104583
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (9054)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:23pm - misc - by Username - China

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

#16103716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (3192)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Nelson - Sweden



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: