About NoFlippinWai : Absolutely Insane.
NoFlippinWai's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
NoFlippinWai's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by catfan / 10/30/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
by nerdywaitress / 10/18/2013 at 1:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Health
by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML
by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML
by AwkwardPartyBear / 09/17/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
by TaraBURGER / 09/17/2013 at 3:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…