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NinjaJellyfish

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NinjaJellyfish

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1958
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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NinjaJellyfish's page activity

Visits<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:44am<b>alisha1029</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:05pm<b>coleycakes_805</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:28am<b>TheLonesomeGamer</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:38am<b>snowmansteel</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 11:12am<b>m1grannd</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:33am<b>babyelise</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 2:33pm<b>jonwild</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:42am<b>gracex3</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:52am<b>Pwn17</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:49pm<b>hockeychick27</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:30pm<b>thanksbrosif</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 2:46pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 3:26am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:59pm<b>jackson38</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 1:23am<b>Vearix</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 10:20am

NinjaJellyfish's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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NinjaJellyfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16341) - you deserved it (48277)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (5773)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (11695)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11132) - you deserved it (46497)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (36506)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10777) - you deserved it (40986)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (33379)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8653) - you deserved it (36642)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (28433)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11761) - you deserved it (44240)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51000) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14709) - you deserved it (41958)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67317) - you deserved it (15390)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)



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