- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : With someone
- Number of visits : 1905
- Number of comments : 446
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted
About Nilorak : 22 fr.o.m. Sweden.
About Nilorak : 22 fr.o.m. Sweden.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health
by Carnage23 / 06/05/2016 at 8:38am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids
by halza / 05/30/2016 at 7:03am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML
Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML
by MeAgainDr... / 11/13/2015 at 12:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by doggylove / 11/12/2015 at 10:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone photoshopped my head onto some nude girl's body and spread it around at school. It was shockingly convincing. Now everyone's calling me a slut, and the worst part is I have no idea which photo the person used or where they got it from, so I can't prove it's a fake. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
by Tag / 09/06/2015 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
by a_dani365 / 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm / United States (Nebraska) / Holidays
Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML
by anon / 02/03/2015 at 2:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML
by happytuckerhappy / 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by screwed / 08/08/2014 at 8:26am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health