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Nemesis2747

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Nemesis2747
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26801
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Nemesis2747's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

#15215941
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (19983)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

#14883708
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (6491)

On 02/07/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

#14694098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by crayons128 - United States

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62228) - you deserved it (3384)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66222) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

#14497431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (6294)

On 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm - misc - by BiteMe14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (11727)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

#14232649
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (2712)

On 12/17/2010 at 4:48am - health - by dmsmcd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

#14195303
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11768) - you deserved it (44165)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

#14189329
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (7257)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (9967)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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