About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
by Ahlph / 05/20/2011 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Charles / 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
by Username / 05/13/2011 at 4:13am / Transportation
Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML
by pigeons_suck / 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML
by 19apollo91 / 05/09/2011 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work
by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by spekledworf / 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I was expecting a phone call at 12:30 from a potential employer. They said they'll call with… Today, as i was wrestling my girlfriend, i had told her I'd go really easy on her because i did not… Today, me and my friend were suppose to hang out today around 7pm. We planned it last night so it…