NeatNit

Search for a member

Offline (6 hours ago)

NeatNit

51Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 26903
  • Number of comments : 1055
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>marcus_1028</b> - 18 hours ago<b>French_giirl</b> - yesterday at 5:59pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:07am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 4:55pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:33pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:21am<b>zyperman43</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:21am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:15am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 5:10pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:22pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 11:14pm<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>jdahle</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 3:25pm<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:27pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:44pm<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 7:05am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:59pm

Fucked!<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 8:21am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:29am<b>psychoIogical</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 3:41am<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:14pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:13pm<b>samiam_123</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:38pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:32pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:03pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:11am<b>zach205</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:40pm<b>zevida</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:26am<b>xChaos</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:11am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chloe_renae55</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:40pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

by lemongrab / 05/18/2014 at 10:14am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

by salad / 04/28/2014 at 11:38am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

by elizabethkalyn / 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

by Sleepless / 02/03/2014 at 8:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love