NeatNit

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NeatNit

48Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 26050
  • Number of comments : 1031
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>Benmantha</b> - yesterday at 5:52am<b>_aPerson_</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:56pm<b>The_Potato_Lord</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:42am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:57pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:42pm<b>ArakiShinichi</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:34pm<b>Ellamare</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 2:36pm<b>h3llsbells</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:23am<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 8:28pm<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 8:53am<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:01am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:00am<b>zach205</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 11:52am<b>nhormuss</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:09am<b>dogestuffup</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 9:25am<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:27am

Fucked!<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:14pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:13pm<b>samiam_123</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:38pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:32pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:03pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:11am<b>zach205</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:40pm<b>zevida</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:26am<b>xChaos</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:11am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chloe_renae55</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:42pm<b>LilRedRobinHood</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:58am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:46pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML

by ashamed / 11/25/2015 at 10:50am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

by anthony / 11/25/2015 at 7:32am / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

by oh_lordy_me / 09/24/2015 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2015 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals