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NathanKett

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NathanKett
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1447
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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NathanKett's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (3726)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15409) - you deserved it (58187)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and feel down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20593) - you deserved it (5280)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15004) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (5577)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

#6335376
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (7508)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (4375)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (5627)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (5627)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (4756)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (28983)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213775) - you deserved it (73293)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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