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N1GHTS's favorite FMLs
by library book / 07/10/2014 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
by Turnipseed3 / 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Love
- Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and… Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse… Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…