Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzZombicidal

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

MzZombicidal

165Fucked!

MzZombicidalMzZombicidal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14700
  • Number of comments : 897
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

About MzZombicidal : Hey! My name's Kristine and I love this website.
[ feminist / 22 / taken / gamer / employed / artist ] ت

I like The Hulk and pugs.

Do you have an Xbox? You should send me your GT!

Instagram: im.pulchritudinous

Don't be shy! Go on ahead and message me!
♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡

(P.S. Thanks for the fucks?) (T∇T)

If any of you truly feel your life is a bit too sad for FML, try Vent! It's a wonderful app for... Venting! The community is friendly and the creators are constantly tweaking and updating the app for US! ♡ I hope it helps!

MzZombicidal's page activity

Visits<b>manuelg1095</b> - 5 hours ago<b>aziton</b> - 5 hours ago<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Swedish_Eagle</b> - 10 hours ago<b>khoov19</b> - 10 hours ago<b>manilovethisshit</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Lalala579121</b> - 13 hours ago<b>BlackFames</b> - 22 hours ago<b>_Mike_Hunt_</b> - yesterday at 3:07am<b>WolliBolli</b> - yesterday at 6:42pm<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 3:19am<b>scrollingthru</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:35pm<b>mrcooper1987</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:08pm<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Karma220</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:14pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:40am<b>cypherwars</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:32am

Fucked!<b>cypherwars</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:32pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:50pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:09pm<b>FelixJC</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:39am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:22am<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:06am<b>moiqbal</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:24am<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:09pm<b>ZombieGirl40</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:48am<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:48am<b>wild4drums</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:39am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:15pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:38pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:28pm<b>A07</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:38pm

MzZombicidal's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MzZombicidal's badges

MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53270) - you deserved it (10555)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (8303)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (5006)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61791) - you deserved it (8728)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (18835)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46185) - you deserved it (5021)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46474) - you deserved it (6804)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (58584)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (12659)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45349) - you deserved it (5754)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (6907)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48846) - you deserved it (17784)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: