Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzZombicidal

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

MzZombicidal

73Fucked!

MzZombicidalMzZombicidal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11372
  • Number of comments : 710
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 27 posted

About MzZombicidal : Hey! My name's Kristine and I love this website.
[ feminist / 22 / taken / gamer / introvert / friendly ] ت

Don't be shy! Feel free to message me for anything!
♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡

(P.S. Thanks for the fucks?) (T∇T)

MzZombicidal's page activity

Visits<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - one hour ago<b>moodsoflol</b> - 10 hours ago<b>captain_mal</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Chronomay</b> - yesterday at 3:36pm<b>fuckthepolice12</b> - yesterday at 2:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:57am<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:55am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:53am<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>What2D0</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:57pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:48am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:40pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:52am<b>klc20071989</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:06am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:18pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>captain_mal</b> - 8 hours ago<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:48am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:40pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:26am<b>int15</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:59pm<b>username356</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:35pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:40am<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:35pm<b>codybrnd</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:52pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:39am<b>thebighurt</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:04pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:15am<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:03pm<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:34pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:57pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:18am

MzZombicidal's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MzZombicidal's badges

MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (55763)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (11856)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44107) - you deserved it (5602)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46552) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48759) - you deserved it (17750)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58512) - you deserved it (9412)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46949) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (8091) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (11955)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (3221)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (4035)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53505) - you deserved it (7956)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: