Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 5:05pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11527
  • Number of comments : 718
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

About MzZombicidal : Hey! My name's Kristine and I love this website.
[ feminist / 22 / taken / gamer / introvert / friendly ] ت

Don't be shy! Feel free to message me for anything!

(P.S. Thanks for the fucks?) (T∇T)

MzZombicidal's page activity

Visits<b>cdncw</b> - yesterday at 4:53pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - yesterday at 12:08am<b>ScoobyDude</b> - yesterday at 11:12pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - yesterday at 10:33pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:23pm<b>OkayOkayOkayOk</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Alup132</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>rcklee</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:59pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:04pm<b>wilbur4321</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>black_day</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:57pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:54pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:01pm<b>medic8</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:40pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:36pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:28pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:25pm<b>wnrjoker</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:11pm

Fucked!<b>EvilTurtle</b> - yesterday at 10:01pm<b>captain_mal</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:52am<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:48am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:40pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:26am<b>int15</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:59pm<b>username356</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:35pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:40am<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:35pm<b>codybrnd</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:52pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:39am<b>thebighurt</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:04pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:15am<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:03pm<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:34pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:57pm

MzZombicidal's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MzZombicidal's badges

MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (3793)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36845) - you deserved it (2938)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (7806)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (12315)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (5154)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35838) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (2882)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (3705)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (3520)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (42863)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (14860)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33683) - you deserved it (23722)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: