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MzZombicidal

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MzZombicidal
  • Town/Country : Sue happy, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2931
  • Number of comments : 358
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About MzZombicidal : Howdy there! Feel free to take a look around! I'm Kristine (pronouced Kris-teen), 21, in a serious relationship, extremely obsessed with sloths and zombies, and currently addicted to Call of Duty: Ghosts. Feel free to add me on Xbox: Mz Zombicidal :)

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MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38712) - you deserved it (4283)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51599) - you deserved it (5416)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (6771)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (3933)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (2557)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47383) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (11197)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)



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