MzMegs

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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 2:33am)

MzMegs

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6766
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MzMegs : I'm Meghan. Married 12.13.2015

MzMegs's page activity

Visits<b>hinnulus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:19pm<b>Jesserb</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 8:20pm<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:59pm<b>SilverCranberry</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:14am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:09pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:36pm<b>ghostriley</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:10pm<b>kissychick</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:43pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:41pm<b>doge750</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:40pm<b>BWARD51</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:32pm<b>xxprincesskayxx</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:32pm<b>ashieee143</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:32am<b>ChrisPavs</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:09am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:44am

MzMegs's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of MzMegs's badges

MzMegs's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

by mzgabbster / 10/24/2010 at 8:21am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2010 at 11:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

by shallowvomit1013 / 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

by Secretisout / 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

by omglifee / 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

by BlackCheetah101 / 11/04/2009 at 1:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

by BadMurderer / 07/31/2009 at 12:01am / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids