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MzMegs

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MzMegs
  • Town/Country : Silverton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3437
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MzMegs : I'm Meghan.

MzMegs's last visitors

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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MzMegs's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13625) - you deserved it (47482)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5252)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52231) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (7492)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (9482)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (39736)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (13740)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (34296)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

#15647807
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27591) - you deserved it (4868)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:46am - health - by oww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (30333)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52805) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)



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