MzMegs

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 2:33am)

MzMegs

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6488
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MzMegs : I'm Meghan. Married 12.13.2015

MzMegs's page activity

Visits<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:59pm<b>SilverCranberry</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:14am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:09pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:36pm<b>ghostriley</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:10pm<b>kissychick</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:43pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:41pm<b>doge750</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:40pm<b>BWARD51</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:32pm<b>xxprincesskayxx</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:32pm<b>ashieee143</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:32am<b>ChrisPavs</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:09am<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:46pm<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:44am

MzMegs's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of MzMegs's badges

MzMegs's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

by CatLady / 06/09/2011 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

by toothpastecat / 05/13/2011 at 11:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

by Mel / 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

by oww / 04/05/2011 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy