About MyUsernameKatie : Well, I'm back! I've missed the FML community but they didn't miss me. Anyway, feel free to message me to learn more about me. I like talking to and meeting new people.
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MyUsernameKatie's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm / China (Shanghai) / Love
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML
by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by flatchested Sam / 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
by yulis / 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
by sleepysophie / 10/19/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
- Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to… Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to… Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing…