Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ms_ValS

Online | Search for a member

Ms_ValS

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5921
  • Number of comments : 265
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ms_ValS's page activity

Visits<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:52am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 8:33am<b>jesibruvold</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:25pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:49pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Scourge13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:32am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:31am<b>annas3</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07am<b>DairyMonster</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07am<b>decoydualist</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:22am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:19am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:40pm<b>tianaolley</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:38pm<b>bellawood</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:46am<b>sadness1989</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:46am<b>jerryj</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>Codezlol</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:31pm<b>DairyMonster</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:08pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:40am<b>catlover5299</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:31pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>enginsteve</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:07am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:03am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:07am

Ms_ValS's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Ms_ValS's badges

Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (97399)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14433) - you deserved it (68058)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47950) - you deserved it (15799)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11875) - you deserved it (59828)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68124) - you deserved it (15980)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (83400)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53759) - you deserved it (19360)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (86609)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57414) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57414) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57414) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (38355)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (12336)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (4916)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: