Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ms_ValS

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ms_ValS

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5423
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ms_ValS's page activity

Visits<b>HersheySquirts</b> - yesterday at 3:17am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:12pm<b>rhino514</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:14am<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:29am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:11am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:56am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:44pm<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:35am<b>Canes2292</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:41pm<b>xDonkeyPuncherx</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Xathrur_XIV</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:39pm<b>MrSmellyCheese</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:58pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Rose_916</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:47pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:50am<b>WallyQ</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:45pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:37pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:03am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:07am

Ms_ValS's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of Ms_ValS's badges

Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (95603)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (66218)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47912) - you deserved it (15787)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11855) - you deserved it (59761)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68082) - you deserved it (15972)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (81758)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53707) - you deserved it (19345)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33196) - you deserved it (86540)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56740) - you deserved it (4455)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56740) - you deserved it (4455)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56740) - you deserved it (4455)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (38307)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (12320)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: