Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ms_ValS

Online | Search for a member

Ms_ValS

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5724
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ms_ValS's page activity

Visits<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Hierobulle</b> - 7 hours ago<b>kuffis</b> - yesterday at 6:28pm<b>JLattouf</b> - yesterday at 11:48am<b>MrKilgore</b> - yesterday at 10:09am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:35am<b>Anonypus</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:59am<b>Jdawg445</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:24am<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:16pm<b>spellburst</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:52pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:43pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:19pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:36pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:32pm<b>Didpetercall</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:26pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:57pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:44pm<b>ThisGirlx</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>catlover5299</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:31pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>enginsteve</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:07am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:03am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:07am

Ms_ValS's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of Ms_ValS's badges

Ms_ValS's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

#21348311
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (2955)

On 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (6562)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24286) - you deserved it (6187)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (7296)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (7792)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44579) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (11890)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (10684)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (40816)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45010) - you deserved it (7547)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: