- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Wednesday 17 July 1996 (20 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 363
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About MrTwarner : I'm a ginger!
About MrTwarner : I'm a ginger!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Janitor / 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Utah) / Work
by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy