MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

229Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 35524
  • Number of comments : 2317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Lesbiantrash</b> - 9 hours ago<b>seba7236</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 1:18am<b>Pikawarrior</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:19am<b>ForeverSushi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:21am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:56am<b>noisyassassin</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Yahboi1</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:53pm<b>TheLadyOpal</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:14pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 3:37pm<b>wecantfixthat</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 3:27pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 3:04pm<b>tintarroja</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 2:17am<b>KayDee29</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 2:09pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:24pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 10:44pm

Fucked!<b>seba7236</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:19am<b>Pikawarrior</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 12:19pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:37pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:04pm<b>tintarroja</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:17am<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:44am<b>walker9879</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:06pm<b>AirMelon</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 7:39am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:58am<b>Natttie</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:51pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:42pm<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:25am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

by smellslikeahangover / 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

by Afroman720 / 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

by arch maester shavayalsharashion / 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

by Lucachoo / 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

by lissabobissa / 07/20/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

by creepedout / 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

by TheDarth / 07/16/2015 at 6:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

by Boneo and Juliet / 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous