Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

113Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25912
  • Number of comments : 2075
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - yesterday at 3:29pm<b>Mmmsushi</b> - yesterday at 2:08pm<b>fantae</b> - yesterday at 1:24pm<b>dillonfi</b> - yesterday at 11:45am<b>PikarooArtist</b> - yesterday at 10:08am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - yesterday at 7:30am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - yesterday at 2:00am<b>Saso</b> - yesterday at 10:11pm<b>imunoz903</b> - yesterday at 7:36pm<b>salpyy</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:26pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:04pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:33pm<b>jellybeans1234</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 9:49am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 9:20am<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:13am

Fucked!<b>imunoz903</b> - yesterday at 1:36am<b>Mukuro</b> - yesterday at 8:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:08pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:54am<b>salpyy</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:31am<b>thuguke</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:30am<b>ScoobyDude</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:06am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 4:25am<b>EMCsheldon</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:17pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:56am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Stillo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:43pm<b>raspygirl</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:03am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (3219)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. My grandma posted about it on her Facebook wall, but people got confused and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did, and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. FML

#21308382
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2507)

On 11/29/2014 at 10:20pm - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

#21308187
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm - work - by gotta euthanize em all (man) - Canada

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (3253)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

#21305033
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/24/2014 at 7:40am - money - by ugh - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (2751)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29027) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (8330)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (3273)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (2943)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (4119)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (6543)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (5053)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (2824)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: