MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

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MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 33877
  • Number of comments : 2301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:54am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:07am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:20am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:52am<b>TheMike23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:33pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:14pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:26am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:20pm<b>itss_emmaa</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 1:13am<b>marisol180</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:12am<b>gabbertz</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 10:44pm<b>chyiochan</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:52am<b>CheekyRaccoon</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:24am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:33pm

Fucked!<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm<b>mrfailmaster</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:01pm<b>momo3p</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:16pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML

by Guy / 09/28/2015 at 2:49pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 11:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States / Love

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

by notanazigrandchildafterall / 09/21/2015 at 7:32am / Germany (Sachsen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

by Ryoichi / 09/17/2015 at 7:13am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I made it onto my boss's shit-list, after pointing out that he'd misspelled "customer" as "costumer" 6 times in his report, and "college education" as "collage education" twice. It'd be a dick move on his part even if making corrections like this weren't part of my damn job. FML

by anda1000douchesscourthispostformistakes / 09/16/2015 at 9:42am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 7:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Love

Today, my ex told me about how much the person she left me for loves the lingerie I bought her. FML

by Anon E. Mouse / 09/15/2015 at 7:47am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML

by Banana_Lord / 09/11/2015 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Angus) / Transportation