Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

121Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27203
  • Number of comments : 2092
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>LordTickledicks</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Kibblesnbitsss</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Enslaved</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Defalt</b> - 17 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - 19 hours ago<b>SteelCalliope</b> - 19 hours ago<b>irisr</b> - 20 hours ago<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:00pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:35am<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:54pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:38pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:55pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:34pm<b>teejaycro</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:08pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:53am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Airborn0280</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:27pm

Fucked!<b>Defalt</b> - 11 hours ago<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:33pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:48am<b>Starburrito</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:49am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:13am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>imunoz903</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:36am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:08pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:54am<b>salpyy</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:31am<b>thuguke</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:30am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

#19375581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15832) - you deserved it (4200)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttle cock that hit me in the eye. FML

#19375546
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (18482)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

#19362794
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML

#19357685
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1908)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML

#19357685
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1908)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (24139)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (1757)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (2377)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (5527)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (4054)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (4738)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

#19301320
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11494) - you deserved it (17728)

On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: