MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

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MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 33941
  • Number of comments : 2301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - 4 hours ago<b>crharding</b> - 13 hours ago<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - yesterday at 4:08am<b>Cadburry</b> - yesterday at 2:16am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:26pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:03am<b>samsterling</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:43pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:54am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:07am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:20am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:52am<b>TheMike23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:33pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:14pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:26am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:22am

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - yesterday at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm<b>mrfailmaster</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:01pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did slightly below average on my programming project. Aside from it being unnecessarily difficult, I also couldn't focus on it due to problems at home. After I confided in my colleague about it, I heard him mutter, "I knew women are crappy programmers". FML

by Rusty / 12/11/2015 at 7:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

by WeightonmyShoulders / 12/11/2015 at 4:10pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2015 at 12:29am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

by BUSTED. / 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

by ujellybro234 / 12/01/2015 at 11:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my mom prevented me from walking a neighbor's dog because she said I'm obsessed with it. I walk the dog three times a day because that's what the neighbors pay me to do. FML

by qwertycode / 11/26/2015 at 1:57pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

by WellGroomed / 11/26/2015 at 10:20am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

by hating my life / 11/26/2015 at 2:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

by clumsy / 11/26/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy