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MrFD

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 9:05pm) | Search for a member

MrFD

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2797
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MrFD's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrFD's badges

MrFD's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (1645)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

#21456316
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (1594)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (13093)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (5991)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (2699)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12880) - you deserved it (44022)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36283) - you deserved it (2070)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (5805)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (3685)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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