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MrFD

Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 1:46pm) | Search for a member

MrFD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MrFD's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrFD's badges

MrFD's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (12298)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (5509)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (3122)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (2698)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (43425)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (2070)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38947) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (3565)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (5804)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3682)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (32380)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (6719)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)



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