Mortoli

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Mortoli

7Fucked!

MortoliMortoli
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5800
  • Number of comments : 380
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Mortoli : Mostly a loner. But love gaming and anime. I am a security guard. if you ever see a tall guy with headphones in his ears probably me listening to rock. Or techno or X-ray dog. And if you ever wanna chat I'm always up to it. I'm on fml almost daily. I'm always waiting for next persons story.

Mortoli's page activity

Visits<b>mergeterge</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 3:46am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:20pm<b>kayelkay697</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 6:41pm<b>PencilTips</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:11am<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:47pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:19am<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:12am<b>SpectreZ</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:01am<b>MaknaeMelanie</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:27pm<b>taylapenguin</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 3:58pm<b>SaveEdit</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:41am<b>lucythomson</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:08am<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:27pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:15am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:59pm<b>jessmonkey</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 8:26am<b>satanicdaydream</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>PencilTips</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:11pm<b>aspecialspecial</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:28am<b>thatperson35423</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:14am<b>missmoschner</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:24pm<b>xoreggie</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>bmolover57</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:18am

Mortoli's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Mortoli's badges

Mortoli's favorite FMLs

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

by PlzSendBlankets / 06/26/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I was babysitting my young cousins who are obsessed with Narnia. So to appease them, we checked every closet in the house. We never did find Narnia, but we did find sex toys. Lots of them. FML

by EevieBear / 06/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I got the wristbands in the mail for a music festival in a month and a half. This is my first time going to an event like this and I got overzealous and put it on. Now it's locked tightly on my wrist. I checked online after and it said not to put it on before you arrive at the event. FML

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting my picture taken with my mom and grandma for a portrait. I said it was going to be beautiful when it was done, with three generations of our family in it. My grandma said that would be true, if I weren't adopted. FML

Today, while at a fastfood restaurant, I wanted to wash my hands. The restrooms were locked, so a cashier got the key and opened the mens restroom. This would have been fine if I wasn't a girl. FML

by turtles_yup / 12/03/2015 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML

by Makusu420 / 12/02/2015 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

by Nightbird827 / 12/02/2015 at 9:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

by Dark_Cecilia / 12/01/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

by ujellybro234 / 12/01/2015 at 11:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 12:49am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

by fryebaby623 / 11/13/2015 at 12:47am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous