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MoonTiger's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by brit / 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Cora / 09/16/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML
by Actor / 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
by Plasticface / 05/14/2011 at 9:32am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML
by dammitvasquez / 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm / Canada / Love
Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…