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Momo_Moonlight

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Momo_Moonlight
  • Town/Country : München, Deutschland
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2890
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (54917)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML

#18889421
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (43622)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14441) - you deserved it (9689)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

#18714264
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (1543)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (4964)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

#18537264
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (19593)

On 12/17/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by Alpha (man) - Estonia

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (2629)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7250) - you deserved it (62123)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

#18315687
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (14794)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:09am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5624) - you deserved it (73119)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (5477)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (7452)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

#18209020
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (2582)

On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates



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