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Momo_Moonlight

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Momo_Moonlight
  • Town/Country : München, Deutschland
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2866
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78317) - you deserved it (5958)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37018) - you deserved it (26951)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (96510)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52349) - you deserved it (66652)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13006) - you deserved it (61506)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (105265)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (62691)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92718) - you deserved it (9968)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11362) - you deserved it (44025)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48473) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14469) - you deserved it (30932)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (42261)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (32446)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (11695)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (6697)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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