Mommyof2_91

Search for a member

Mommyof2_91

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1532
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mommyof2_91 : I have two beautiful children that I love more than anything. I spend every single day with them and enjoy watching them grow:)
*
I'm not a grammar Nazi, but some of the people on here really need to go back to elementary English, I'm not perfect but at least I can use the correct form of "to"...

Mommyof2_91's page activity

Visits<b>evbu98</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:04am<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 1:57am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 2:13pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:13am<b>dca101</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:15pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:29am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:22pm<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:05pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 4:02pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:19pm<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:03am<b>dom_g</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:20pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 7:57pm<b>JohnnyDontCare</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:25am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 7:58pm<b>tompom331</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:59pm<b>dmoz47</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:49am

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:52pm

Mommyof2_91's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Mommyof2_91's badges

Mommyof2_91's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

by Popscene / 09/26/2012 at 5:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

by burnt / 08/13/2012 at 12:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

by Blackfell / 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm / United States / Love

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

by SCdriver / 07/16/2012 at 2:04am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

by hannaslifesucks / 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

by a stupid jackass / 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

by yeyt209 / 06/10/2012 at 3:46am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous