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About Miss_Michaela : All I can say is if you are able to fit your whole life in this box, you have had a boring one.
I do love England. LEFT HAND DRIVE FOR THE GODDAMN WIN!
I don't get people who don't know or don't care about the difference between their/there/they're, your/you're and were/where/we're. Here is a Full Stop: . Please use it.
My hates: Having 'xx and/or 'lol'' on the end of everything. People who aren't sun kissed, but sun raped. Oh, and what is the point of having the same pose in every profile picture? The kind of people who put 'You' in their mahossive list of hates. Yes, I have a gargantuan list, but do you see 'You' anywhere? Message me if you're one of them. In addition to the previous listed hate, those who name their favourite commenters. I don't give a toss who you dribble over and search desperately for in your spare time. Coffee = Yuck.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. If you're still here, well done. You get a hypothetical gold star.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
Friday 22 May 2015