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MinuteNoodle's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
MinuteNoodle's favorite FMLs
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
by WasntWorthIt / 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm / United States / Health
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML
by Curly / 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids
by Grrrawrwtf / 06/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Money
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…