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MikaykayUnicorn

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MikaykayUnicorn

19Fucked!

MikaykayUnicornMikaykayUnicorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2764
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About MikaykayUnicorn : My profile picture physcially pains me. Just thought I'd let you know, you filthy muggle. I'm female, obviously.
Welcome to hell, I will be your tour guide.
We all joined FML because it makes us feel better about ourselves, don't lie. Or you just really like to laugh at other people's pain.
Feel free to message me. It's okay, I won't judge you. (unless you're a pedophile or a murderer or something. Then I might judge you a little bit.) Yes, my username is weird. I was in a weird time. Don't judge me, dammit. I ain't ask for yo criticisms.
Please, if you saw my FML and the follow up, do not message me and tell me what I did wrong in taking care of my cousin. It is a past event and I am not in control of him, I cannot teach him anything when he is in another state. Thank you.

MikaykayUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - 13 hours ago<b>bhavnfun</b> - 19 hours ago<b>rozalyn77</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:28pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:25am<b>redrosepetals</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:45pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:52am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:52pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Muerteds</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:36pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:52pm<b>HugoAedo</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:58pm<b>MurkyMorena</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:01am<b>lmfao789</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:51am<b>fbcclaire</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:42pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:38pm<b>aaron_alonso</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:29pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:39pm

Fucked!<b>meli1195</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:58pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:38am<b>Stolar2</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:56pm<b>sydmayz24</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:34am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:47am<b>Sullysboo</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:14am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:32pm<b>dropbeatsnotbomb</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:07am<b>Grumpy_Cookiez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:25am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:39am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13am<b>wilfred_08</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:20am<b>djbruceybruce</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:12am<b>blcusername</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Brooke5702</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:12am

MikaykayUnicorn's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of MikaykayUnicorn's badges

MikaykayUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (5609)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (6113)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (14475)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26823) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (4088)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)



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