MikaykayUnicorn

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MikaykayUnicorn

97Fucked!

MikaykayUnicornMikaykayUnicorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4009
  • Number of comments : 540
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 47 posted

About MikaykayUnicorn : Welcome to the hellish depth of nothing that is my profile. I will be your tour guide.
You've probably come here from either a very intelligent comment I made or a very dumb one. Thank you if it's the former, I apologize if it's the latter.
I have a tendency to not give a fuck if I offend you. I would say sorry, but I'm not.
You're either going to think I'm 7 years old or 40 years old. I am neither, but you will probably be disappointed with my age.
If you don't like my profanity, you probably shouldn't be on a site called "fuck my life." Just a thought.
We all joined FML because it makes us feel better about ourselves, don't lie. Or you just really like to laugh at other people's pain.
Feel free to message me. It's okay, I won't judge you. (unless you're a pedophile or a murderer or something. Then I might judge you a little bit.) Yes, my username is weird. I was in a weird time. I regret it. When will FML introduce a "change username" option so I can release myself from this hell?

MikaykayUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 10 hours ago<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:45am<b>Alucard205</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:21pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Dark_Zekrom</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:14am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:14am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:30pm<b>mazor</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:00pm<b>JordanSaysSo</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:39am<b>LuciiferSiche</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:43am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:58pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:55pm<b>399</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:12am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:29am<b>Notagaiiiiin</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:48pm

Fucked!<b>KittyKatKyrish</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:25am<b>LuciiferSiche</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:43am<b>399</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:03pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:54am<b>TigranPet</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:23pm<b>Wsparta</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>ZombieGirl40</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:17am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:13am<b>5sonic</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:59am<b>Butcus</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:37am<b>chidexy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:03am<b>Korentai</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:10pm<b>hope1103</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:08am<b>feven</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:28am<b>Natedanp</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:30am<b>BlackPenny2016</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:57am<b>shavednipples</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 2:22am<b>PoolDeadio</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 4:20pm

MikaykayUnicorn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MikaykayUnicorn's badges

MikaykayUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my drug dealer was the only one who wished me a happy birthday. FML

by boipucci / 04/21/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half informed me that he had "accepted" my stomach, even though it didn't conform to his "preference" for a flat stomach. He then added that his acceptance doesn't extend to my "chunky thighs". FML

by chunky monkey / 03/14/2016 at 2:26pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 4:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

by Porche / 11/12/2015 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

by technicallywroteabook / 08/21/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

by MikaykayUnicorn / 08/15/2015 at 11:41pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

by MikaykayUnicorn / 09/21/2014 at 10:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.