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Midnightpearls

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Midnightpearls

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1627
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Midnightpearls : I'm just a random girl, one of many...

Midnightpearls's page activity

Visits<b>wrongmove</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:17am<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:01am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:22am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Thedudebroman</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:57pm<b>jcxxll93</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:02am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:11pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:22am<b>tigger2007</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 5:35pm<b>Random_Red</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 2:13am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:38am

Midnightpearls's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Midnightpearls's badges

Midnightpearls's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (3318)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (6668)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (8481)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48519) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41841) - you deserved it (3251)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (6408)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (4105)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (4502)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2368)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (2158)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (9229)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68281) - you deserved it (5656)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (5249)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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