Michael_92

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Michael_92

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2328
  • Number of comments : 695
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Michael_92 : Hey guys and gals my name is Michael. I am a pretty busy guy most of the time so when I get some free time I like to sit back and read these stories. This site is a infectious disease I tell you. Feel free to message me if you wish, but once you do you cannot go back.

Michael_92's page activity

Visits<b>bassist48</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:04pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:27pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 7:14pm<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:35am<b>violinest20</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:36pm<b>daemonsparta</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:10am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:24pm<b>leah3691215</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:53pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:30pm<b>owen505</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 6:02am<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:58am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:07pm<b>conman1198</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:04pm<b>whyyoulittle</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:13am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:34pm<b>mel_tran_</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Eggploint</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:19pm

Michael_92's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Michael_92's badges

Michael_92's favorite FMLs

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

by WetWalking / 03/21/2013 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

by bieberslayer / 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm / United States / Geek

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

by LonelyMe / 10/30/2012 at 9:27am / Love

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

by Joey / 10/06/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

by Rohirus / 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous