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MichaelDeSanta

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MichaelDeSanta

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 572
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MichaelDeSanta's page activity

Visits<b>pabj208</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:07pm<b>SuckyFMLs</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:38pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:50am<b>mhb210</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:46pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:13am<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:06am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:03pm<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:14pm<b>TeBanana</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:25am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:33pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:33pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:38am

MichaelDeSanta's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of MichaelDeSanta's badges

MichaelDeSanta's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14146) - you deserved it (16784)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (5250)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (45522)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63841) - you deserved it (9306)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40271) - you deserved it (13107)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (24300)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (5175)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10148) - you deserved it (37720)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57509) - you deserved it (17245)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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