Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MichaelDeSanta's page activity

Visits<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:21am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:56am<b>Dr_Manhattan</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:50am<b>bigmusclebro</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:55pm<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:24pm<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:20pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:31am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:49am<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 9:50pm<b>facelick</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:48pm<b>downzi104</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 9:30am<b>Jawz_cof</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:00am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:23pm<b>douclucy</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:36pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:53pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>pabj208</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm

Fucked!<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:23am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:38am

MichaelDeSanta's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of MichaelDeSanta's badges

MichaelDeSanta's favorite FMLs

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

Today, I accidentally came across a video of my parents on an amateur porn site. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32786) - you deserved it (4833)

On 09/14/2015 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Motherf*cker - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML


I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (6682)

On 08/03/2015 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ahhh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (32250)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (5500)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (4810)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (47810)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45796) - you deserved it (4736)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML


I agree, your life sucks (66456) - you deserved it (9649)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42768) - you deserved it (14014)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (6085)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: