Metalkitty

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Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 8:33pm)

Metalkitty

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6424
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Metalkitty : Hi, I'm me.

Metalkitty's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:29am<b>Necropool</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:46am<b>DrewDal</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Chanti</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:05am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:31am<b>Oihana</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:03pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:05pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:13pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:44pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:06am<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:51pm<b>CuntBlaster</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:11am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:57pm<b>dimdimdim</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:37pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:40pm

Fucked!<b>CuntBlaster</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:11am

Metalkitty's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Metalkitty's badges

Metalkitty's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

by TeddyBearKiller / 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals