About Merylwen : Let's have pizza and a Star Wars marathon.
Merylwen's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Merylwen's favorite FMLs
by Crazy cat lady / 04/10/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by annie_nk / 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy
by selfishsexysanta / 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…