Melody

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Melody

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14983
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Melody : umm i'm erica. sophomore. i'm boring but people seem to like talking to me on the computer? either way, yeah have fun.
wanna know me, talk to me, you'll get to know me eventually xP

Melody's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Kayouri</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:37pm<b>JazzlaWazz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 1:37pm<b>billboob</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 1:44am<b>vaxc</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 8:06pm<b>thatweirdasian</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>Giraafe</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:52am<b>imabassist</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 1:25pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:40pm<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 3:33am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:23am<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:44pm<b>Kaamil</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:58am<b>Phil_Nye</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:30pm<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Imsorrywhatdidu</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:26am<b>Alphawake</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:25am<b>WhylmBroke</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:43pm

Fucked!<b>Tilley619</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:00pm<b>pookastanley</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:17am

Melody's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Melody's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

by mr.palendrome / 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

by himtopia19 / 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

by alejita / 03/02/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

by ripdivine / 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

by FailAtLife / 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous