Melissa92

Search for a member

Melissa92

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2970
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
British.
20.
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America

Melissa92's page activity

Visits<b>Requiemsphantom</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 11:27am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 12:30am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 12:42pm<b>whyunolikeme</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:04am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:51am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:37am<b>wakaflocka447</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:57pm<b>kelserz27</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:42pm<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 2:44am<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:47pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:16pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:41am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:25pm<b>tikeyla</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Jenn_love69</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:27am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:35pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:31am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:25pm<b>jet223</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:29pm

Melissa92's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Melissa92's badges

Melissa92's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

by lostforlife / 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

by potassiumgirl / 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

by Dooh / 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

by Forever sad / 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

by Username / 08/31/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

by rojin12 / 08/30/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Work