Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MelTheGreat

Offline (yesterday at 6:01am) | Search for a member

MelTheGreat

33Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 August 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2961
  • Number of comments : 293
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MelTheGreat : I'm an English teacher and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm a Grammar Nazi.

MelTheGreat's page activity

Visits<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:59am<b>davidpropert</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:19pm<b>walrusdog_</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:20pm<b>gms0113</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:58pm<b>koganti</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:23am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:40pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:18am<b>JerryClark</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:16am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:32pm<b>elorghestenes</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 7:36am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:44pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:40pm<b>kiaorabro</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>lakers12324</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:45pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:12am<b>Tonher</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:03pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43am

Fucked!<b>JerryClark</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:37pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>olpally</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:29pm<b>koganti</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18am<b>cuervobombz</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:18am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:16pm<b>zjay</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:46pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:08am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:00pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:07am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:20pm<b>JayVicious</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:24am<b>blcksocks</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:37pm<b>johnnynumnuts</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:02am<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:00am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:58am

MelTheGreat's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MelTheGreat's badges

MelTheGreat's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML

#21453063
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (2138)

On 08/07/2015 at 7:24am - misc - by ruserious (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63903) - you deserved it (19991)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (3680)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (15647)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (13018)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27291) - you deserved it (4367)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (1878)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (1976)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9330) - you deserved it (33402)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (3296)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2954)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (34671)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (10344)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: