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MeTheBeast

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MeTheBeast

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1226
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MeTheBeast : As you can tell my profile pic is BALLIN. Just like me everyday ;)

MeTheBeast's page activity

Visits<b>tranpauline</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:59pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>Joelle_Elizabeth</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:32pm<b>AbigailKruger</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:18am<b>Dany93</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:36am<b>panophobic27</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:53pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:41pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:24pm<b>ktmla</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:18pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:16pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:28am<b>AhouKaho</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:43pm<b>Liyuesigs</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>vegasteen_92</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 12:33am<b>Metzler31</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 8:14am<b>SaidinRage</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:16am<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:01pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:20pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:42am

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MeTheBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (8548)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (5256)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48201) - you deserved it (2830)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you deserved it (5068)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83797) - you deserved it (10257)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170769) - you deserved it (27478)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248905) - you deserved it (32368)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML

#167901
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (82842)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
982 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77928) - you deserved it (442046)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

#129411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53556) - you deserved it (5993)

On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (7930)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42097) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)



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