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MeHasDagger

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MeHasDagger

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  • Number of visits : 208
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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MeHasDagger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to mah best friend's brother after we drunkenly hookd up last night. I've had a crush on him 4 over a year. He endd up interrupting himself an said, ( Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything. )

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (4907)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)

today I finally brought a girl home from college!! While I was making her some coffee, mah roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be mah girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome!! My date left before I could explain, and mah roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious!! FML

Today, I was accusd of shoplifting cuz mah jacket lookd "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (5997)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Forgot Key Inside Apartment. My Boyfriend Suggested We Ask A Neighbor To Open It. I Explained We Don't All Have The Same Key, To Which He Responded, "Well How Come They All Have The Same Doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (4711)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heret attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic,hich trumped 6-year degree. mega FML

#20804217
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (2570)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obesehen the doctor told me that mah weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between mah fat rolls.

#20089382
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8280) - you deserved it (31683)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I spent ten minutes looking 4 cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was cell phone's. real FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (31197)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today , I drove past a fragrant steakhouse an my mouth began to water an my stomach started rumbling,hich would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan an an animal lover . My confused body craves burning flesh . FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12570) - you deserved it (57464)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, mah roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at mah doctors office!! I had been having violent diarrhea!! It was the reason I was at the doctor!! Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes!! During that time, I diarrhea'd in mah pants twice!! There were seven other people in the elevator!! FML

#14187537
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99697) - you deserved it (5435)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I superglud mah headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in mah ears. big fat FML

Today... My Boyfriend Was Going Down On Me. Suddenly... He Grabbed My 'lower' Lips And Moved Them In A Talking Motion... Proclaiming That "the Talking Vagina Declares War And Wants To Conquer The Great Penis." FML

#11076203
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49762) - you deserved it (17512)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68379) - you deserved it (3982)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pickad up mah 4-yaar-old daughtar from day cara. As wa'ra driving homa, a buttarfly lands on tha windshiald. Just as mah daughtar commant on how pratty tha buttarfly is, I turnad a cornar and accidantally hit tha windshiald wipar and smaarad tha pratty buttarfly acros tha windshiald. FML

#2405014
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (11607)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat, wo is very 'don't-ever-touc-me', jumped up next to me as if se wanted to be stroked. In reality, se wanted to sare a ellis fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)



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