Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MaximumBeat

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

MaximumBeat

2Liked!

MaximumBeatMaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:25pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:58pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:10pm<b>coleh1998</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:30am<b>Lars93</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:12pm<b>hare</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:05pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:03pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:21pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:23pm<b>shanebob</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:48pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:01pm

Liked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (6073)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (4567)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42747) - you deserved it (19253)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (6747)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (3506)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45608) - you deserved it (5635)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45399) - you deserved it (5927)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43189) - you deserved it (9412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54732) - you deserved it (3684)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52510) - you deserved it (5221)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (5129)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

#21080041
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (8713)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: