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Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:07am)

MaximumBeat

10Fucked!

MaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1425
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>chewsef</b> - yesterday at 9:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 3:13pm<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:23am<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:50pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:41pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:18am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:23am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:24am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:19pm<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:10pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:39pm<b>liamb1222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:10pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:31pm<b>hotdaddy15</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:16pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:39am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:13am<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:25am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:35pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:15am<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:23pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:46am<b>Cape9093</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:28am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm / Japan / Health

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

by unsuckable / 08/28/2015 at 2:13am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

by Animeislyfe / 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

by schoolsucks / 03/10/2015 at 7:28am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

by Josh / 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 9:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love